I’m sure she was sad to leave us, but so happy to be eternally healed, so thrilled to hear the words she had worked her whole life to hear “Well done, my good and faithful one. Well done.” Are there even words to describe how she must have felt to finally see the face of the One that created her. To be held by the parents, she hadn’t seen in nearly 50 years. To kiss the face of her first born and namesake, who by three months of age, had completed the task God had created for her to do. To lay eyes on her youngest son, who used to write poetry about how he would not live through his 30s, and was taken from her 11 days before his 31st birthday.
I miss my Grandma. She was a loving, caring, firm, God fearing woman. If I am half the mother she was, my kids have scored big time. And if Layla is half the woman she was, then she will be a woman after God’s own heart..
Getting Layla home was a six year process and I’m trying to enjoy all of our firsts together. She smiled for me the first time on December 29 as I was eating fried rice in the Lan Lan restaurant, while Nancy, Lisa, and Ben the rock star looked on. She got her first reprimand the week after we came back. I realize now the reprimand wasn’t entirely her fault; I gave Layla mixed signals. When we were in Hanoi , there was an American Idol marathon on and I was half watching it so she talked on and off throughout the show without a word from me. So how was she supposed to know when the show premiered in January, back at home, that she wasn’t supposed to talk during the show. But I give my baby credit for being a fast learner, she now knows not to talk or cry during judges’ critiques and people’s singing. I love this kid.
When I think of all the changes Layla went through in the first week she was with me, I’m amazed and astonished by her “take it all in stride” attitude. She meets me one day. The next day, I, the woman who smells, sounds, and looks different than anyone she’s ever known, takes her on her first van ride, her first hotel stay, her first plane ride, and gives her her first taste of flavored oatmeal. Yet other than some tears, okay a lot of tears, in the hotel, she kept going. When we were back in Saigon , she didn’t act ugly through all of the sight seeing adventures, the cab rides, and the walking all around town. She even allowed me to let Lisa, Nancy , and Ben baby-sit her while I took a nap. She liked her first taste of fast food via KFC, okay, I won’t go there about how Vietnam has a KFC but not a McDonald’s, it’s like I was visiting another planet, but I digress. The changes and new experiences kept coming one after another and through it all she handled them like they were the most natural things in the world.
Even going from having my undivided attention to sharing me with Jory and Rowan, then her siblings and work, she adjusted better than I ever could have expected. Along the way, she even learned to be jealous and how to push her brother and sister off my lap because I’m her mommy. She seems to ignore me when I explain I’m Rowan and Jory’s mommy too. Much the same way Jory did when he would say to Rowan, “She’s my mommy!”
Her first week home, she even lived through Oma’s “quick” family shopping trip. What is Oma’s “quick” family shopping trip, you ask? It’s one where she says she’s only going to return things or pick up one or two items, so there’s no reason for anyone to get out of the car to go in the store with her. Except, she’s rarely in a store for only five minutes so then the natives get restless and want to get out of their car seats, so by the time she gets back to the car, we still have to put everyone back in their car seats and buckle them up. Hmm, yeah, we’re not really saving anytime there, but shhh…don’t tell Oma that she really thinks this shopping trip saves time. And don’t you dare ask, why she can’t run these errands by herself? Maybe she loves having people she loves waiting for her when she returns to the car….
Other firsts…Layla met her favorite aunt and uncle that live off of Pico the second day she was home…She went to her first parade on Martin Luther King’s Birthday, where I was asked and asked if I was sure she didn’t want an Obama t-shirt. Umm, yeah, I’m quite sure on that one, but thanks for asking. She met two more aunts and multiple cousins at the parade, along with the woman who could have been her aunt, if her uncle hadn’t been a dork and let the best thing that happened to him get away from him, but that’s another story.
For her first birthday, we kept it low key with dinner at home, followed by the opening of presents and birthday cards on mommy’s bed. Thank goodness Layla had a big brother and sister, who were more than willing to help her out with the present opening situation.
On Valentine’s Day, she made her first trip to the mall and rode in a stroller. I quickly discovered why double strollers have stadium seating and why they are important. She was not a happy camper in the stroller. Layla also got her ears pierced cause nothing says “Happy Valentine’s Day baby girl” like a needle ripping your delicate, tiny ear lope open to make room for a nice gold ball. But as with all things, Layla was a trooper and cried for a moment and then was over it. She didn’t even cry when the back of her earring fell off the next day and I had to put it back on, which meant touching her sensitive ear. Man, can she roll with the punches.
She had her first trip to steak, seafood, salad, Sizzler for her sister’s birthday. She got to give Oma the birthday gift, we knew she would take back, on April 3rd. She took her first professional portrait that almost resulted in me strangling her sister and led to pictures where the girls didn’t smile. Thank God for Jory and his million dollar smile.
And then on Palm Sunday, we went to church with a co-worker and I nearly had tears in my eyes. When we walked in the church the ushers gave us palm branches to wave at a certain point during the service. And on the pulpit behind the pastor stood three crosses and at the end of the service, members of the congregation picked up the crosses and followed behind the pastor to take the crosses outside.
One of the crosses had only two people carrying it and it was a little too heavy for them, so another member just left his pew and went to help carry it, and I couldn’t help but think about Jesus and Simon of Cyrene, who helped Jesus carry his cross. And as the crosses were placed on a hill outside of the church, I was speechless. I was advised not to take any sort of religious paraphernalia when I went to Vietnam , I wasn’t even sure if I would be able to read my daily devotionals on-line. Yet a mere 4 months later, Layla and I stood listening to a minister on Palm Sunday as we watched crosses being secured to the ground.
For the first 11 months of her life, Layla lived in a land and in a place, where she maybe never heard about the One who created her; and now she lives in a land where she can worship freely, in a family that teaches her that God loves her, knows the number of hairs on her head, and sent His only Son to die for her sins. Oh God is so good! How far we have come in such a short period of time.
Grandma's hands
Clapped in church on Sunday morning
Grandma's hands
Played the tambourine so well
Grandma's hands
Used to issue out a warningS
he'd say "Yashama, don't you run so fast!"
Might fall on a piece of glass!"
Might be snakes there in that grass!"
Grandma's hands
Grandma's hands
oothed a local unwed mother
Grandma's hands
Used to ache sometimes and swell
Grandma's hands
Used to lift her face and tell her
She'd say "Baby, Grandma understands.
That you really love that man.
Put yourself in Jesus' hands."
Grandma's hands
Grandma's hands
Used to hand me piece of candy
Grandma's hands
Picked me up each time I fell
Grandma's hands
Boy, they really came in handy
She'd say "Matty, don't you whip that girl
What you want to spank her for?"
He didn't drop no apple core
But I don't have Grandma anymore
When I get to heaven, I'll look for
Grandma's hands
The girls together on Rowan's birthday.
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